Against all Gods

I have a mutant body.

I grew up thinking I was just as normal as anyone else, but around Senior year of high school I realized just how fucked up my skeletal structure is.

Example:



There is a freak pinky.

Please note: my pinky does not reach the 3rd knuckle of my ring finger. Test it with your hands.

The fuck?




Also, my arm span from middle finger tip to tip is about 6 feet and 2 inches. My height, generously, is 5'10. Does that sound right?

According to a Big Foot message board this means I am some form of sasquach.:



According to Neurologists this means I have a lower risk of dementia then the average person.

I'm not sure which I would rather believe.

Also, I had my appendix removed because it almost exploded and killed me, and I never had to have my wisdom teeth removed because they were smaller than average and there for did not stress out the rest of my teeth. AND I can also NOT grow facial hair, and am very, very UNhairy compared to a lot of guys. People have asked me if I shaved my legs... but I don't.

Another weird thing, and this effects all the men in my Dad's side, we can't turn our wrists 180 degrees. (Imagine someone is handing you change, the motion you would make to take it from them, I can't do that) My grandfather has to make a little cup with his hand when someone handed him change, my dad and his brothers can barely give a handshake normally, and I can't make my right hands back side completely flush again a table.



(This is taken from as close to my face as possible. That's me turning my wrist as far as I possibly can at my own will. Also, note the charts and graphs on my computer screen, I researched)

I should also mention that I am one of the least flexible people I know. In 4 years of high school PE I could never touch my toes, even if I stretched and worked for it every day. On the "sit and reach" I was lucky to get a 6 or 7... it was pathetic.

(I wanted a certain picture here, but I decided against it. Go ahead and google "flexible", I was surprised to be honest)



I'm willing to bet I'm after the first guy on the right. (Ignore the anti koran stuff, or don't)

And another thing, this wasn't as quick as I originally planned by the way, but I have terrible posture. I seriously tried for about 2 months straight a few summers ago to constantly stand or sit up as straight as a board, but I just couldn't do it.



That's me on the left, in attractive random guy form.

So what the FUCK? In like 5 generations my offspring will be dragging their 4 fingered hands on the fucking ground at this rate. Maybe I'm an argument for evolution, or maybe my mom was a little fishy during pregnancy, who knows.

So due to my abnormalities I am good at arm wrestling (more leverage), sitting slumped in a chair, not playing sweep scales, and I'm very good at being very bad at just about every sport that requires any form of coordination and agility. Excellent.

Thanks Darwin/God.